What to do if your baby cries as soon as it is placed in the cot?

3 August 2023

Having a newborn baby can be challenging. However, as time goes by, you will begin to understand what he or she needs and this will help you find the right routine for both of you.

Meeting his or her needs will help him or her cry less and make your life easier too. Getting to know each other takes time, every day is a new discovery, and slowly everything will come easier and more natural to you.

Babies have a strong need to be close to their parents because it helps them feel secure and loved. When babies feel secure, they release a hormone called oxytocin, which acts as a fertiliser for their growing brain. This hormone helps them to become happy and trusting children and more self-confident adults, better able to cope with temporary separation from their parents, instead of becoming ‘clingy and spoiled’. Holding, smiling and talking to your child releases oxytocin in you too, helping you to feel calm and happy.

You may have also heard that ‘babies become spoilt and demanding if they receive too much attention‘; newborns cannot be spoilt, much recent evidence shows that satisfying babies’ need for love and comfort makes them calmer and helps them grow more confident.

Keep your baby close to you so that you can start to recognise the cues he or she gives to tell you that he or she is hungry or wants a cuddle. Responding to these signs will make your child feel safe. Cuddling your baby close to your skin allows him/her to smell you and hear your heartbeat, which comforts and soothes. This will also help you feel calm and relaxed and facilitate breastfeeding.

Remember that the best way to reassure him/her is to make him/her feel your presence, to hold him/her in your arms, to sing a song, to touch him/her on the chest or head: all this helps him/her feel loved and secure, even if he/she does not immediately stop crying.

Here are some practical suggestions:

  • Place your baby’s cot next to your side of the bed to be closer during night feeds and to calm him/her down in case he/she wakes up immediately after breastfeeding. If you don’t have a cot yet, choose one that can be opened from the side and attach it to the bed – this will make life even easier!
  • Sometimes it is enough to simply make him/her feel your presence, try putting your hand on his/her abdomen or face, speaking in a low voice or singing a song. It will help him/her to know that you are there.
  • As soon as he/she falls asleep, hold him/her on your chest for a few more minutes, and when you put him/her in the cot, let him/her feel your touch for a while.
  • It is best to place him/her towards the end of the cot (always on his/her back, never on the side), so that when he/she stretches his/her legs, he/she feels the edge of the cot and feels protected. Remember not to put objects in the cot that could move towards the face. The sheet should go under the arms, or you can use a sleeping bag (depending on the season, of course!).
  • Gently rock the cot, the movement and rocking help the baby to relax.
  • Finally, remember that every baby is different, do not compare with other situations.

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